Since Techstars started, I admit I’ve been a little behind on the news, but I catch up each week by reading my subscription to The Week from cover to cover. Yes, for those of you who are asking, it’s actually a bound magazine that I physically receive via snail mail each Saturday {gasp}. Anyway, it gives a fantastic overview of everything that happened the previous week and does a great job of combining ‘I need to know’ news with ‘I need to be entertained’ news.

One of the more interesting (and relevant) tidbits of news that came out of this week’s bundle of love was the rumor that police are prepared to enforce crowd control at the Democratic National Convention with Crap Cannons! These slick little weapons apparently release an infra-sound frequency that disrupts a person’s equilibrium and ultimately makes them SHIT THEIR PANTS!!!

Dude, this could either be the coolest weapon ever made, or somebody’s ingenious plan of trickery. Either way, I think it could be an extremely effective way to prevent riots, unruliness, and general disorderly conduct. It’s not every day that a person loses complete control of one’s bowel system in a crowd of people and is unexplicably forced to take a shit. I think it’s brilliant. Nobody gets hurt….other than losing any sense of pride they managed to build up over the years. The cleanup is a mild concern, but that’s what community service is for. This technology could open up a whole family of enforced bodily fluid release weapons…vomit vaporizer, piss plaster, you get the picture.

Pick up a copy of The Week. Promise it will be entirely worth your time…and the experience of actually gripping a physical magazine is WILD.